Life

Start school with a moody mood, y? cos thinking bout homework and reports that I will hav to do , urgh…. It’s like never ending, some more my lecturer said, no worries… for the reports, dun take it seriously, hello, we are already in year 2, next year will be our final year, is she a lecturer? Duh… reports gonna be part of our evaluation when we got out getting a job. This job isn’t anything much like the ordinary job like we used to apply or intended, cos it’s a new field, just started to bloom in Malaysia, cant expect it to grow this fast. Malaysia needs plenty of resources, money, computers, science and technology stuffs, and last but not least, the workers. And, dude…. We are still like fooling around, playing with experiments, writing reports, everyday doing the same old thing, not complaining, but I’m worried, will this gonna help Malaysia to progress. Yeah, time will tell, sure it gonna be a successful field becos Malaysia was considered one of the country that provides plenty of natural sources and goods, much better than some countries indeed, and also becos of our geographically strategic location, we have lots of blah blah…. Like most people said in Malaysia. Yeah… Malaysia Boleh! Sure can!

And I oso noe that Utar is trying their to up bring us to achieve our Malaysia mission and vision by feeding us lots of knowledge, knowledge about the natural things, how lives are constituted, by cells….bacterias, viruses, virions, bet u guys wudn’t noe what I am talking about, rite? Cos some of u guys are BA students, IT students… (some of u wudn’t noe this). Anyway, the day after tomorrow will likely be able to answer all these things, it’s only the matter of time.

My eyes are getting darker, am I slogging most of the time? being hardworking? no! u think I am that diligent, huh? Am not, cos most of the time I’ll be dreaming along the way, not being very concentrate on my work. Sometimes even being ridiculous by talking to myself, well, not crazy, think that’s the way to confront myself to be braver of some sort. Sometimes talking to yrself isn’t a bad thing too, cos when feel being “alone”, try talking to yrself, ask yrself wat had u done today, who had u met, and spoken to? A nice lady or a nice man? That’s only a few examples, dun copy my idea ah. Again I’m not timid, duh damn confusing rite? Haha, mind me will ya? Sometimes my life really filled with emptiness, damn…. My heart is a little sore rite now cos I am now listening to a midi song, a chinese 1（心语星愿） some people noe how to tackle their boredom, by writing something, jus like wat I’m doing, writing something for my journal. Well, really at first I din noe that this is really the best way to let out, burst everything out bravely. (well, obviously not everything). U cant actually talk to someone straight away on wat u r thinking and wat u wanted to do for yrself. That way, the readers will noe how yr life is being spent. Haha, talking bout being monitored by other people. Undeniably, there are oso people who din like to talk about their things, dun even bother to write in a piece a paper, but I must say I admired them in another way, they knew how to cope their feelings well, concealing their secrets from people, even their own parents too. Of cos, they have their own privacy, even I oso have one, wudn’t like to tell either.

Have to get back to my class ledi……

the sudden planned birthday party

venue: UTAR ICT centre

I was very tired today cos we had our most prolong lectures with the same lecturer teaching the same subject today, for 4 hours: 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon, barely had our lunches and break, man.... talking about the same old DNA clonning and the technique of implanting the genome into the plasmid.... wat ever... even my self got mixed up, got a headache myself since.

well.... it's fine now, am in good condition, still. cos the class is over, boredom immediately shoots out and happy chatter voices came to bid us, finally... i can get a fresh air to breath. Imagine, having stuck in a, u noe, kinda confined and small room, and the room can barely accomodate the whole bunch of us, more than 70 people, sharing the same air-cond and the desks together.

Anyhow, we still can cope it well, i guessed. bout the birthday party, yea... when i was on my way home, i was called up by a gal, whom happened to be my classmate (fei hua - nonsense) asked me to stay back for a while and i said wat's the commotion then, she just giggled. Well, not my birthday, then whose birthday? She said secret.... then ok lor, if birthday oso dun wan to tell then y does it have to be celebrated? shud have keep it completely silent mar. but it's ok, mayb he / she felt shy or sth...

I then ah... asked another gal who's standing on the furthest right, *Psss.. who's birthday izzit?* she said wat???? u dunno ah? she was like fainted. Then a gal behind her just giggled, and signalled to me... by eye contacting me, *it's her birthday lar,u silly."* then i ah... just glanced back to the birthday gal and replied instantly, as if nothing had just happened, "of cos i noe it's yr birthday, i am just fooling around... u c i even wear green today, just to suit yr taste!", i din even think whether she likes green onot, I din bother and i just said it, "to suit yr taste" . kekeke.. then she said.... "nice shirt u have"... and i said thnk u.... aiya.... dun wan to write further details gua, oredi very long winded....

so one of bought a Tirammissu cake for her n we ate it, took some pix... fooloing around with others jus like the usual thing that we used to tricked birthday boy / gal. ends here, goin back to my dad's office.... bye bye.

I wanted to be a good boy. no joke man! Yeah… wat’s wrong?

What is so shocking to c when a guy said that he wanted to be good? What is that sneering face, what is so funny looking at yr computer screen like this? Want a piece of me? I wanted to be a good boy, that’s all! (oops… Ssssh… Tony dearest, you shudn’t be this harsh to yr blog readers, u gonna scared them away, shud have write something nice and refreshing, moreover, today’s title sure sound weird, guess so – my angel had spoken) Oh yeah… sure.

Without further babbling, I wud like to start of the topic of the day – wanted to be a good boy, blek… recalled back the olden days of me being a primary student, a very naive, mischievous, playful and erm…. foolish perhaps kinda kiddo, having a bunch of peeps who always do something “illegal” in school, well illegal as in breaking the school rules and stuff that I wudn’t thought I will do now. Often I had umpteen fights with the people I disliked, and which I knew least in school. And, talking about gals, on the other hand, erm… I wasn’t really that gentleman then, erm…. Even though I treated them well, but somehow I dun feel that I was generous last time.

To guys, heehee…. I remembered having fights with mean boys in school. Once, I had a terrible fight in the school bus, I fought using my own knuckles while my opponent used a special weapon (which I had forgotten what that is). I ended up with many bruises in my hands and not to mention, my face… see how naughty and evil I was? See, I’m not the cute guy anymore, was I? After the fight, the school bus driver told my family everything that had happened, and surely, that’ll also be my last day boarding the bus. I was scolded furiously by my father, another punishment that I’d to suffer again, even after the fight, my father saw no reason that I could go, he kept scolding and simultaneously giving me valuable advice of the life and stuffs like the ways a human shud behave… Imagine, I was a little kiddo and not even reaching the age of 9-year-old. But I felt embarrassed, luckily I noe when and what I need to regret and to repay back the debts that I had done! My mood just got swooped and down it went. Till now, I recollected all these foul memories, I giggled, but deep down in my heart, felt pretty bad too! Y does us human have to be this complicated?!

I had a strange encounter too. And again, it’s an embarrassing encounter as well. Erm…. That time I dunno wat love is… serious! I ah…. Told a gal tat I loved her, I just suddenly popped out in front of her, and she was three years younger than me, erm…. She just completed her… kinder actually, see how desperate I was? Nah… actually I was naïve lar, dunno wat is love mar, watch too much love movies…. but I think she knew “love” more than I knew tat time, cos she just say no…. and I try to erm…. Kiss her, was foolish… well… I got red faced rite now. But I did put my right hand on her back, erm…. She allowed that. She was mature to me, and she happened to be my erm… neighbour as well. Cant tell her name, P & C!!! But still, now she is my neighbour, kinda sheepish seeing her, though not seeing her often. She was a bright child, not going to look up a “shit” like me. But luckily we din fall in love cos… erm… she wasn’t the type 4 me. Was a fool saying it again…. I thought love is like….I liked her, so simple to say, but in reality love meant a lot, from protection, money to sincerity, and also her security. And the both need to keep their promises together, sacrifice something which is always the necessary step and so forth, talking about having an affair with a woman? Damn, no easy task. Now, what I wanted to say here is, after a series of understanding and guidance, I’m confident to say that I had become a someone, that care people, but I cant commit to a certain extent, if u noe what I meant, or at least after completed my studies in Uni, but certainly not now, I once did try to think of committing, but after a serious consideration, I finally gave up, was my fault if I do it, and ended up in chaos! And that I dun wan. Some more I no macho… (sigh), what pathetic teen I was!

Hehe… suddenly become so mature, not the same person that u guys known all this while, rite? Well… my topic seemed gone very far again, apologize for the inconvenience caused. Nah… it’s because I wanna share with u guys some arts of love! (haha… how can I do it, I myself nv had a relationship b4), and of cos there were signs of distractions and pressures from the family, no boy and gal fren relations in school, strictly no! This was one of the resistance, n there are more… duh… must have stop mentioning this issue, it’s a sensitive case.

Ok, I had finally turned good ever since I had the fight and I learnt a lot from the mistakes that I had made. Turning over a new leaf is never a hard thing to me, I believe all of us can cope that well. I heard lot’s of people telling me that hey! U looked so childish, act like a kid, but when it comes to giving n sharing thoughts with people, they said I think like an adult, and by that they meant I am complicated, a total mixed up of a kid having the adult’s brain of some sort. They said I’m caring, in which I do because I dun wan anybody to get hurt, esp my frens… I always tend to please people, n not to make them feeling bored, down n feeling sorta ill or low spirited. I always try to give advice and give moral support to them to cheer them up, but somehow…I…I myself …

Yeah, I wanna become a good boy, cos lately I spoke rudely, I even said %&#%(^!^% now, hehe, guess I need to control, yea.. cos I learnt from fren 1 lor. Evil words have to leave away from me…. far far away.

Like I said, “life is meant to be happy, dun lead a doleful life, n I noe it isn’t yr wish to live like that, but try to avoid having these unscrupulous thoughts. It had been a history to u, we humans have to look at the front path, the bright side of the road. Said is easier than done, true, but this phrase is always an excuse depriving u from being bold to do sth that u had long putting effort in. Well, all in all, I prayed to god that in this coming Chinese new year, everyone of us is going to have their wishes come true and lead wonderful lives. Challenges are jus ahead, we need to go beyond these! There are many opportunities ahead us n is waiting for us to explore. Gambate! Need to doze off ledi.

nah... actually the lady standing on yr left was going off, going off as in resign, so basically we were havin a farewell party celebration jus tto show how caring we were towards ppl... she had been working for almost 20 years if i'm not wrong. heard from a colleauge 

my fellow colleauges in citibank, we had free lunches like 2 weeks once!! envy?? 

duh!!! another lady goin online... ms maggie qi!!! u r being spotted for attempting to expose our customs to the terrorist!! duh.... the screen , obviously was "hotmail".... mayb sending emails to ppl and stuff... ding ding! 

look who's there? the ferocious cat of all, FELIX!!! i dun rmb taking his photo until recently i open my pda and was shocked to c him... anyways, he was goin online, obviously in changi airport. 

this is one of our dancing part during orientation. that guy nearly stumbled to the floor cos the guy on the upper screen barely held him. 

Tsunami Woes

Well, guessed I need to apologise here for not making this blog rocks after all cos I abondoned it like for a long time, sorry mates! It's not an excuse for me being busy or do not have time cos I had already made promises to edit my blog. I tried often to write a piece but to no avail, reason being was that I was not alone. I can only do my my own things only when I am alone, can't do it when someone is around me, a weird guy huh? I even felt irritated when my parents came in to bug me, in return, i "barked" them, but deep down in my heart, I do not wished to be like that, so sorry. Alas, guessed I wasn't a good narrator anymore... thought I was but heck no! Okay, anyway hoped this do not bored u guys....

The most popular topic of the week - TIDAL WAVES KILLED A HUNDRED THOUSAND PEOPLE!!! Those are things and news that worried everyone of the states, everywhere and every now and then! Sorrowers, mourners, prayers, volunteers, priests, doctors, nurses, paramedics, lifeguards, helpers, and the people in the community are so desperate and determined on doing their jobs and usual chores well, to keep finding any alive victims from the tragic waves. Many forensic seekers are conducting their autopsies on coarpses, to find clues for the causes of death, well certainly we all know why they are dead cos due to the strong current of waves and got suffocated which lead to death and blah.... But, to them that was the biggest effort they could do, can anyone else be like them, having the courage to watch and operates the dead bodies of victims. So, what I wished to say here was to urge the people not to discriminate or felt nauseated or feeling illed towards this people, they are heroes to me, and you know what, before taking this Biotech course, I was considering to get myself a degree for forensic sciences, I never feel afraid of seeing these, even my dad told me that he was freaking out seeing blood, heck scary he said, calling me a science freak, but that;s okay. The thing that stops from being what I wanted to be was money, it has to be like a lot of money and years to study in this field, yeah, have to sacrifice alot, even have to sacrifice a time to court a gal, i guessed, hee hee. Nevertheless, to me it was an eyes opening scenes on how the research are being conducted and done ny the unsung heroes of forensics.

The situation was getting so tight and gotten even tighter on the second day of the disaster, especially people on the affected states, some fled to their own safety, and some do not, they relied on their instincts and their lucks to look for their loved ones, searching high and low for them,who might have been sacrificed from the disastrous unexpected tsunami. Sea water kept swarming in and out, to and fro and swept the cities to dust in just a few hours. That time, undoubtedly I wasn't in Malaysia, I went on a trip to Singapore for Christmas, together with mom and dad, friends and members. We were not shocked at all when we gotten a call from a relative of mine saying that there was an earthquake in Malaysia. Thought that was a joke from the Christmas but hell no! I was only home on Monday past midnight, turned on TV in the morning and was totally shocked at the news, broadcasting the series of killing waves sweeping the major cities in Penang, Langkawi, Sri Lanka, Thai, Phuket island, Indonesia, Krabi.... almost the heart of South eastern countries are afected. I smsed some of my friends in Penang, Cheryl, Belinda, Wai Quan, Junis... especially Cheryl, I presumed you will be saddened alot cos you just came home from Phuket island a week ago, and the island was totally ruined. Must have been a big "WHAM" to you. I was wondering what in the world does the world wanted us people to do or to react about these? The world is certainly changing for some reasons, due to our lack of control to complement the earth's needs, the earth is lamenting, we need to control and maintain the world and to continue and stand united to make the world a better place and blah.... yeah we know, but does these kind of things do exist in our human thoughts, does it? It's hard to keep this as a promise to the earth, it's a far cry!

I received all of their SMSes saying they are safe and sound, not a single of them are injured, but perhaps tired being volunteered to help in a charity and the kind of activity held to help people and mankind, children and even adults are being taken care of, dont be a hero unless you are sure that you can save people and not killing yourself in return, we don't want any reported cases for another person dying for saving people, and the people that you'd saved might have passed to the borderlines to heaven already. That's a waste of life! And, I felt so ashamed for not taking any part of the activity or signing up to be a volunteer these days, I have no excuse to say, most of my friends had already doing their roles as a volunteer to collect some funds in KLCC, I saw them.. felt so bad. Cheryl, I saw your blog, you are saying that you are recruiting members for the voluntary jobs rite? How can I joined? My parents and I had decided to donate some clothes for the unfortunate ones. I packed and we packed, eventually got a large pile of clothes, I cant remember where and when I bought this much of clothes for myself! We later gave them to the charity held in somewhere in Ampang.

On Dec 18th, a week before christmas, I was too in outstation, guess where was I? I went to Penang. Yeah Penang, I met lot's of penangites there, visited lot's of temples such as the Kek Lok Si, the snake temples, and some temples which I forgot the name. That time it was peace and sound, and the traffic was always busy during rush hours. The famous visited place of all was none other than the Gurney Drive. This place was visited by so many tourists, it was famous for it's food and the scenery which was located near to the sea. Although the food was pricey there, it worthed it because I can catch a glimpse on how Penangites are having their night life there in Penang, as compared to Malaysia. I had my company as well there to company me to go sight seeing in Penang, though it's a little too rush, sorry to Cheryl, Belinda, and Wai Quan. Thanks for the ride to erm.... dunno what city, at least there got a Haagen Daaz Ice Cream and a Mamak Stall to bug in and have a little chatting there with you lovely people.

I need to say a few words to the dead ones, please rest in peace and may the god be with you and guide you to the right way and the right path to go. To the living ones, please cherish the moments that you have together with your family and friends, and remember not to be a hero unless you wanted to be a zero hero. that's it for all. PEACE ON EARTH !!