Take the Risks and We Shall Conquer

Sometimes I think i'm not being true to myself, bear in mind, that you can't actually see through the real me....my heart within....filled with the source of secrecy. The heart of a mankind which protrude from the body itself....The Art!

Play it, as it may be how my heart felt for the day

Google

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Driving Me Crazy Too... U Noe

I'm more of a weird guy.... duh.

Handling Stress

Ring the bells that still can ring,
Forget all about your perfect offering;
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
Today is gonna be my stressful day because I haven't even touched a single thread of my report for Biochemistry, and i guessed i'm totally lost... Y? cos yesterday I slept alot... that's the longest nap I'd ever had these days.... from 9pm until the next morning... it was so comfortable, so much so that I had not heard the sound of my alarm sitting next to me... boy, how tired I was! I remembered my mum had try her best to wake me up, and if I'm not wrong, I told her dreamily that I'll get up, but it never happen, just kept on sleeping like a pig... haha.
At school, I had a brief session of "stress management" - How to curb stress? kinda seminar stuff. Well, I din sign up for that but seeing my frens are there, i dun mind joining them for awhile since i liked meddlin...
1st session we had the usual stuff - Introduction speech given by a lady whom I forgot wat her name is. Her voice is so frail that almost made all of us fell asleep. Well, y not? since sleeping is the best to fight stress. I din find that irrespectful. But anyhow, later they manage to turn on the speaker and let us listening to some soft and sentimental music, which is my type of music. We were made to close our eyes and think widely, relax and try to think of somethin that makes u feel good and happy. " I loved U, I cherished u and I am always behind u" is the quotation that she wanted us to visualise and to say it out, makes me quite plain at 1st, but later I felt warmth and sound.
Yet, I need to skip the following session, which they wanted us to make a circle n mayb i guessed that they wanted us to share our feelings and speak out our heartfelt kinda stuff. But I gotta run bcos I have some undone reports which is dued by tomorrow. Bet that there gonna be another one, I find that very interesting........

Monday, March 28, 2005

As Light As Feather.......Not!

There is something about flying through time, as I have over the past week, that makes me think that I'm exempted from the laws of gravity. But the way I feel today lets me know that I'm not. I have done another crash-and-burns that are the price for my blitzes. I'm grounded, heavy and slow moving... the hangover is perilous. I would never forget this moment of truth even when I'm aloft....

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

No Hard Feelings......Peeps

I had been a very bad boy these days, as a matter of fact, I had been baaaad.... ever since the school started. How bad am I, to what extent the definition is applied to me? Well, just simply a word - worst. I had this bugging attitude problem, it just come naturally to me that made me wanna bug people, disturbing people's concentration during the lecture. I just cudn't keep my mouth shut sometimes, I have to be like "hey! lenlui, can u pls borrow this... and that... to me" "what the F... is she teaching? cant keep up yr pace, man! Can u be any slower?" "Hey dude, how ya doin?" in a flirtin manner. These r just a few of my quotes and there are more actually. Rude? U bet. Cant forgive me, eh? Well, u noe sometimes mayb it's the tension and pressure that's puttin on me. Been lagging and at the same time monkeyin alot... but worst still, there are still other mates that can accept the "monkey me", haha... many thnks to u guys, i wont work it out like this if u all weren't there for me. Dun deny anymore, it's u, yea u, the person who's readin this blog.... Well hate to say this, of cos there r some who detested me fooling around in the class, like a sick ass. But anyway, a big sorry to u, and i hav no intention at all to distract my frens...

Being the observant Cancer in the class, I realised some noticeable fellas who have gotten themselves into so much complications with the class. Well it's obvious to c them bein outcasted from "our family", mainly due to some attitude prob. There are actually a rising numbers of outcasts in my class, and I'm afraid to say that the population will go even higher in no time due to our super-imposed sensitivity senses. So far there are oredi three E.Ts being identified, one is "u-noe-who-he-is", the following one is " u-noe-who"'s new best budd, and finally a peskily bossy female. More is expected, how sad...

Speaking of competition in my class, well it's not that bad, bcuz there are oni 69 of us in this group, basically all of us are quite good and are favorable to some lecturers, their comments are: easy to handle due to our fair language in English; smart and intelligent is another thumb-up, but sadly, we are easily laid off.... it's really true, we used to take things for granted, we expect to have a more comfortable way of learning but we, on the other hand, are not paying much of the attention to the class. A trade of welfare but nothing comes out worthy...

I think it's ok to mention yr name here guys, ok? Wong Jing Neng, u r my savior in school, without u i cud nv be able to jot down the notes lectured by Dr Lightning. U r intelligent and hardworking, I'm sorry to bother u so much these days during lectures, i'm regretful. And bein the eldest, i understand that u have to bear yr family, taking care of them dearly, u did a great job, yr plans of lightin up yr family are the most laudable. Keep up the good work, my fren! U r really an opponent, cant beat u up in any tests... hehe top student, eh? Yup, u r a top student. Remember wat u had told me before? We were school mates in Secondary, but we nv same class, strange? how did we get along so well? do u wanna noe y? Mayb it's the friendship bonding. Or mayb I found out that u r special in some ways that tickled me to approach u and befriended u... Ha! take that as a compliment. And dun believe on such nonsenses that u r goin to be the next outcast member, no! dun think that, even if u wud (touch wood), I'll nv isolate u from becomin my fren. ok? So be happy in watever conditions u venture into.

Ok, yr turn buddy, Loong Shih Keng. Haha,the legendary dragon boy who fall prey to a Tony Tiger.... Mua Ha ha... U cannot catch me, u nv catch me.... foolin around. Anyway, back to normal, u ah... dunno how to say lar. Nv been to u so close until this recently, we began to talk on some hot topics about u noe what.... cant imagine I'm that imaginative eh? (guys, seriously no awful yellow thoughts) Am innocent jus like a baby myself.... : ) ; ), no? then : (
We'd been in good terms, unanimous in terms of opinions and thoughts, like who is bad, who is nice, etc... cant expect to tell everythin here. We may have to find some time to go yum cha in mamak, with a bunch of peeps too... like say sidney, wei lun, keng tee, jin ren, yik chong .... many many more. Hey, how about goin for Karaoke some times, after the finals perhaps? wat da ya think. Well, i'll end today's post with a poem:

For the rest,
Please I need to take a rest;
Trust in me that I can do my very best,
For all the good stuffs hidden in u that I'll soon gest;
U have the right to detest, and confess,
Just dun make me one of yr mess.
And, See u folks tomorrow in the lab test.

Monday, March 21, 2005

American Dreams....perhaps

I used to have all these crazy dreams about being how to talk like an American, how to be brave on some issues, esp when they are holding an important politic conferences where noted people and figures are there, and speak up and debating strongly. And, demonstrations were seen busted along the streets and freeways (we so-called highways) and stand united and stuffs. it just amazed me on how they being so confident sometimes, thrash talking am i?

It's not that I haven't seen a world debate before, I'd seen a few, which turns out to be shockingly surprise to me.... imagined a debate that ended up in "slapping each other faces" and began fighting, punching vigorously, shoving people to fall, kicking incessantly....what blowing bloody hell thing it was! Well, perhaps it has already been a culture for them to fight as they are having conferences, i guessed.

I grew up in a half Chinese half English family, but luckily I made it out from chinese medium schools. Come and think of it, Chinese again in Secondary, c'mon....doesn't hardwork in primary freaked u out and shud have enjoyed life in yr secondary school lifes instead? Well, the truth is I have no regrets at all studying in an independent chinese high school, it makes me know my roots even more, and i enjoyed studying some ancient chinese histories and I read about some great Chinese unsung heroes that had made the new China to be so popular and with so many historical sculptures and stones uncovered, precious jewelleries and stuffs that i cudn't have possibly mention all in here... but, in the end i still sucks in Chinese, better luck for me next time, or will there be a next time?

Westerners are very open, open in the sense that the way they talk, the way they dress, etc, they are just so different from the Asian people, who likes sticking around with their usual "shyness" and unwilling to be direct in some ways. Not to be very open-minded and some are even worst, turn their back on people or just simply ignoring them. But anyway, these days I began to perceive that Asian people are changing, from easternise to westernise, in terms of their dressing attire and eating habits, the way they talk had change a lot, becoming braver. Hey people! Keep up the good work! But still have to control, not to be too extremely expose to the outside world, our roots are still bound intact with the earth here.

I wished that I can go out and have myself explorin the beauty of this world, to make myself more expose to some western cultures and things like that, for the sake of taming my dreams.... do u know what i meant? So long peeps.....

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Old Yet Refreshing....

"Promise me that you will join us for the gathering, ok?" "It's gonna be a fun day, take a break and have some time to relax." Hmmm.... It's true that all this while i'd been all thrashingly stressed up, this intense awkwardess and tiredness had lasted me for a semester long since January. And "pop", I finally get the taste of freedom, a free from school workload pass....yes! a granted pass from.... myself, yeap... it's about time to throw some stuffs aside and have a great fun...

So, who suggested me to go for the gatherin? Seriously, it's from my mum, pretty strange huh? Now, I would forbade wat u guys are trying to think in yr mind or suppressing yr laughter. Old, gross, boring, irrelevant....mamma's boy?! No.... pls dun think that way, mum and I are used to be like friends, cordial friends basically. And i believe that in some outsiders mind, they thought we are lovers.... there we go again...there was this one fine day when we both were hanging out in Midvalley, as usual, mum's doin her best in window shopping and I was her company, and we used to hold hands. In my opinion, though in her 40s, my mum nv seem elderly to me (not old, mature i guessed). She follows alot in our trends, not about dressing, but it's about the taste and feeling. So, like i'd just said, we were holding hands, walk passed some stores and chattin, not bothering any onlookers. And there was this old bespectacled guy who like... approachin us, and we were like, "dude, what's going on?". He scanned us from head to toe, as if lookin for clues. Duh. if I earn a degree as a mind reader, i bet he wondered,"a teen havin a mature gal fren?!" Yea, so wat! Hey, haven't u seen a guy with his mother before? Anyway still, there were wonder eyes eyeing the both of us that day... we dun care, as long as the lord is here with us as company.... not LORD VOLDEMORT of cos, haha... he who should not be named had been spoken.

Back to gathering stuffs, oh yea... she asked me to join her "club", at first i sounded reluctant because i knew the one who wud b having fun is my mum. "Mum, y not u going with dad, I'm having some stuffs rite here to finish up." "He is comin too, but i'd liked u to come with us, (psst.. he is bored u noe)" she hinted. Hmmm... my dad, charmin but a little too old fashioned, not romantic kinda man. Afraid of having exposure to the outside society, he said it's too dangerous to wander around even in day time, newspapers have proved that many cases of killing, snatching thieves and etc were rising dramatically... blab alot but he is truely right. So, where were we again, ooopsie... she asked that favour....hmmm, i considered and then oklor, i go lor.

As predicted, as soon as we arrived to the venue, my mum flew down and caught with her long lost fren, chatting and beating along, and oh yeah, she is so good and sociable ... u bet. We had the best meal there served by one her frens, who is a good cook. Well, can't get angry wif her because she had nv meet up her old classmates and frens for like 20 years, and it had gotta be so exciting. I wondered how will I be after 20 years? Will I be organising a gathering just like hers? On the other hand, my dad, was having his great time talking bout politics with some of my mum's frens' husband. Well, hard to deny, dad knew very well on towing the topics n he was lucky to have great listeners that day, which i found, seriously, boring.... not in the channel with him.

So, am I havin a great time? oh yeah, i was enjoyin my MP3, singing along, esp the song {I Drive Myself Crazy} - N'sync. I like that song V much.


Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Joey Tribianni

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I liked this guy's acting, so wat u guys think of him....?

pls wrote down any comments for me bout him.

the latest show that he is acting is "JOEY"

funny little guy

Been Living in a World Surrounded by so much Emptiness......

Was feeling so good to own yr things, was so nice to be brought to live in this wonderful world, it's truely amazing.... i must say, good job lord and good job my parents! u guys had given me the hope and the destiny. How can I ever gonna repay all these good stuffs, well... there are of course. All I need to do here is to show them back the appreciation by studying and constantly studying, and by that i also mean, get to college, get a laudable degree and hey, the most important part, go get a satisfying job that pays well. I meant yeah.... that's life. And, that's the law of life for me.... define the law of life of your own, i'm sure that you have yr own.
I'm not saying that I hate studying so much... well obviously all of us are gonna go thro that routine for life. It's good, u noe. But, i dunno.... mayb i'd like to have a change.... so much so that i cud change to do a different thing, and it's usually not the thing i always do.... perhaps a liking to work will make me happier? Well, look, perhaps a change of environment will help ease my agitated lifestyle.... i'm in doubt, really. I just dunno how to express all these 'cause i kinda good in hiding stuffs.... well a typical CANCER am I? It's hard to tell when I'm happy, well not to worry, just feeling empty that's all. Oh yeah, mayb it's the incessant-working-on-reports sensation that had fooled and trapped me, keeping my heart empty.
Been in serious disgusted to one of my closest family member these days, never wanted to talk to him no more. He was so annoying, like a bug to me, bugging and still bugging endlessly... mayb i need to c a psychiatrist sometime.